Monday, April 22, 2013

So Much Going On In My Head

Sometimes the reason behind my not being able to sleep is that I can’t get my brain to shut off. Although the last few days that has not been the case. I just don’t sleep well when my Army Boy is not around. He will be home tomorrow morning early! Yay! I have a special dinner planned for us and I can’t wait to see his face. I wish that I could say that is the only thing going on in my head today, but I would be lying and well, it would defeat the purpose of this blog and my life to lie to myself.

Today is my daughter’s birthday. The daughter that hates me because she listened to some things that other people told her that were honestly no business of hers. See, the thing is, the person who told her did it on purpose. Without getting into too many details, basically, she was told about things before she was born and when she was a baby that were said and done. Some of it not by me, but was attributed to me anyway. She asked me about it and I answered as much as I was willing to at that time, because honestly she was like 12 and I felt that she did not need to know some of that stuff. When I said that, she got mad and told me that I was lying and she knew the ‘truth’. Well, as we all know ‘truth’ is in the eye of the beholder.

She has not spoken to me since then, well except to call me names and such. While it hurt me, and still does, I had to let it go and move on. I am hoping that when the time comes and she wants to know the TRUTH, she will ask me. Until then, I wait. I am not sure if she will ever want to know the TRUTH or if what she was told she has accepted as the total truth. It has been hard on me today, but I am trying to move forward and get through this day with grace. Sometimes not the easiest thing for me to do. I love her and I can not force her to listen to me or believe me or even love me for that matter. So I wait.

Well, I gotta run, still have some stuff to finish up cleaning wise before my Army Boy gets home. Ciao!

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