Thursday, March 14, 2013

Pregnant

P.R.E.G.N.A.N.T. those letters put together the scariest word of all. My Army Boy is being amazing and he is thrilled to be a dad. For me, this is a scary time. I am scared of losing the baby. I am scared of being a bad mom. I am scared of so many things. In so many ways this is like a second chance for me to be what I know I am. I am a good person, I can be a good mom, I know I can. Now I have that chance and I am worried about messing up my kid. I am worried that I will not be what I think I am.

Raising a child is a big deal to me. I have two kids who hate me right now because I did what I thought was right for all of us. This is my second chance to be the mom I know I can be. The mom that I know I am. Fear can help me not make the mistakes that I have made before, but it can also paralyze me. My Army Boy will be a great dad for sure. I know that he will help me and be there. I have been praying because I know that with God I can do this. I am scared. I am worried. These will help me.

Well, I am going to run, Ciao!

5 comments:

  1. parenting is such the unscripted journey. we do our best and hope the 'village' can fill in the rest.

    Namaste'

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    1. Thank you. I actually really like that.

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  2. Oh wow! YAY! So happy for you! Truly, jus ignore all my parent motherhood posts, pfffttt...
    Parenting is a scary thought. Just be you. Make informed decisions, on what YOU guys feel is the correct path. There is no guide, and all children are different, and all circumstances are different as well. Its fun, its exhausting its enlightening, its a learning experience of a life time. You will be... fine, wonderful, and ya know what? Loved. Its all good!
    YAY!!!!

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    1. Thank you Jodi. I appreciate your kind words. I have been rather busy of late and just saw these comments. Go figure.

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  3. Hopefully, down the way your two kids will come to understand your decision. If not, don't let guilt steal the joy God wants you to have. A new day offers a NEW WAY of doing things, of putting to practice what we learned from life. You have a man who loves you, will support you too. Fear has only as much power as we give it. Don't give it any. Try to remember the things you did that turned out well. Focus on the successes of your life, not your failures. we all fail while learning, dear one. Congratulations on the baby. Enjoy this experience for what it really is. We all deserve to be happy. Praying for you.

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