Advice to Others

Seems like there are tons of articles and books on how to make a relationship last. It seems to me that it would be pretty easy to know what you need to do, if not this post is for you! These are what I have found in my relationships from my past and current one. So here we go, my 9 tips for a lasting relationship.

1. Respect: This is first and foremost with any relationship, if the respect is not there, that relationship will not last.
2. Similar Values: While you can make relationships work with different value sets, I have found that to not be true with me. So, for example if you are a church going person, you need to be sure your SO (significant other) is one too. I am not saying that it will absolutely not work, because in my experience it has not, but I do know people who make it work.
3. Laugh Together: The more good times and funny things that you have in your relationship, the bad times when they happen will be easier to get through and it will also help you realize that the relationship is worth fighting for. For example: This is a conversation that happened between my Army Boy and I yesterday…

Playing WoW (World of Warcraft) Me: Can you take my Druid up to the Scarlet Monastery for the dungeon up there please?

Army Boy: Sure how far can she fly up there?

Me: Um, Ironforge ( which is not very far at all)

Army Boy: It’s going to be a loooooong run…..

Me: I know, I am sorry, she ( my druid) has not been here at all before.

Army Boy: Later in the run up… Okay, you can kill this guy…

Me: Um, no,it’s your job to be my taxi and the one that kills everything..

Army Boy: What are you going to do then?

Me: sit here and look pretty…

He cracked up and of course that made me laugh like crazy too…

4. Do Little Things for Each Other: When I was working at Kroger, my Army Boy had a nice hot bath running for me when I got home and would make dinner for me. When he got home from AT (Annual Training) for the National Guard, I had a welcome home dinner for him.. to show him  how much I missed him while he was gone!

5. Love Each Other: I know it sounds easy to do, but honestly loving someone when you are pissed off at them or annoyed with them is very hard! For example, when I have annoyed Army Boy, he will still rub my feet or back if I ask and sometimes if I don’t ask.

6. Talk/Listen to Each Other: This is truly the key to having a lasting relationship and perhaps the hardest part for people to do. Opening up yourself to another person is very hard, at least it was for me. I had to seek counseling about it because I was not able to do so. Listening to your SO is another key, no matter what they are saying is not easy as well. I always try to live by ‘ Say what you mean and mean what you say’. Be clear about what you are trying to say to your SO, they are not mind readers, if you want them to realize something, you need to state it plainly.

7. Fight Fair: This kind of goes with #6, if you do end up fighting about something that was said, do not pull out every single mean and nasty thing you can possibly say about your SO because honestly that will not get the issue solved and it will make it worse. I was in a relationship like that and it was so hard on me because I knew if we fought it would be brutal and I would shut down totally and not want to talk to the person. Say what you need to say, but find a non combative way to say it.

8. Apologize: If you said something that hurt your SO or you were wrong, 2 words can go a long way to making things right again. I’m sorry. Not the most easily said 2 words, but it helps soothe the hurts. However, do not over use because after a while it does not mean much to the other person. Also, no one likes to be wrong, and if you are apologize before it creates resentment in the relationship. I have been there and it sucks. The other person I am speaking of, never apologized ….EVER. It got to the point that I was resentful and lost respect for them.

9. A Little Understanding Goes a Long Way: Being understanding when your SO is having a bad day goes a very long way to keeping a relationship together. When I am not feeling well or I am cranky, Army Boy does what he can to help me through that time. I snap and bite his head off, but he realizes that I will be better soon and he loves me through it. It is not easy by any means…

So those are my tips for a lasting relationship… Have anything to add or disagree with it? Leave it in the comments..